2nd year in a row that's not looking good.

Discussion in 'My Financial Meltdown Story' started by Derbygirl, Nov 28, 2018.

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  1. Derbygirl

    Derbygirl Newbie

    Hello everyone. I really wanted to post a thread before my last one regarding needing help due to losses from being evacuated here in northern California. I wanted to just say something kinda corney in away . I know everyone asks for money on this site . I did looking for help a year ago ( never got a response from anyone- anywere) My situation keeps slowly deteriotating to worse . But i am looking for a Mentor. Ive never had one really my whole life. I got dealt 2 crappy parents and i grew up fast raising younger siblings , being out on my own at age 15 and still had to finish raising my siblings . I didn't have much of anything growing up . I Was deprived of all the things that i could of been really good at with sports or art or even getting to finish school. But im asking if there is anybody out there who has the time or money for plane tickets (lol) and decides one day that hey i feel like being generous and changing someone's life to the greater good . Please pick me. Ill be your ginnypig . Please show me how to make money like you do . Show me the way. Im going to be 41 in a few days and these past couple years has seriously taken a toll on my health and spirit. My daughter who turned 4 yesterday has barely seen me laugh. Being isolated with no phone , no friends, no vehicle, no one to talk to just me and her and because she has some development issues ive been unable to seek help with. It has added a lot of depression for me. I used to feel like i was 25 at age of 35. I've never felt my age or looked it ever. I moved to this house which all my hair has fallen out . My skin and face just went to crap i aged 10 years in the last 3 yrs. I don't even like looking at myself anymore. I used to be eye candy for everyone i guess. People say i would light up the room when i showed up. I used to be very spirited in my own crazy ways. Im a big spread kindness advocate in my town till i got stuck here. But my daughter has been seperated from her brothers , my sons which adds to my depression, not being able to feel like i can properly take care of this child who caues a lot of stress and fusteration for me and makes me cry almost everyday. And i feel horrible she sees me or hears me in another room yelling at myself because our communication between eachother is hard and ive never experianced the issues im dealing with alone with the way she is with any of my other kids. And i need help. But i dont want the same chain of life to continue on withing my family. My mom was kicked out when she was 15 . I dont know why but her mom never spoke to her again ever. My mom upsetted me so bad that after i forgave her several times i needed to feel like i had a mom for the first time and after another traumatic incident happened to me she never even called to see how i was . I quit all ties with her and then 5 years later i thought about going by her place to talk and she died before i did. I have sons who bragged about me to their friends.and their parents. I have always been a hard worker and have experianced a lot in my life . Ive had councelors say i need to write my story . I always told them you don't even know anything really. I was told by both parents who were divorced at baby age . What happens at home stays at home, don't count on anyone to help you . Dont believe everything you hear and dont show your heart on your face. Basically i hid my life pains growing up with smiles for the public . I used to get spirited awards and i never let even as my age a few years ago i always put on a good outlook for public . My ex used to love to have me dress all up and go sit at a black jack table while he sat somewere close by and watch how a quiet table with nobody talking all of a sudden id have everyone talking or helping me out with advice or just smiling it made the table funner i guess . Plus i made heads turn when i walked by because my booty has been the talk of town since grade school. Ive been traumatized over that and one day decided instead of being mad everyday over my butt ill just do the opposite and embrace it then lol.. I want to leave my children something besides last years of crys and seeing me falling apart becoming more lifeless each day. Losing energy , motivation to even want to try anymore , i feel ive been stuck in this state for too long its ruining me. I dont have any reason to smile or laugh about here. I cant do anything but work here at my home and try to deal with my daughter. And sneak online to learn something i hope. Im so full of ideas for businesses and just creative ideas . I have owned 2 seperate businesses , 1 which was successful till i put my trust in someone while i had taken a leave of absense with my ex husband for a few weeks and this person completly robbed me, took it all, didnt pay any of the bills for advertising , office space rent fees nothing. And this person was to get half of all profits the company makes after taking care of bills for the business till i returned. She didnt have to work like she did all she had to do was answer phones basically, GREED , AND DISHONEST caused everything to be completly shut down , she knew i found out and was on my way home she got scared and used the last bit of my money to buy a ticket out of state before i arrived. My 2nd business was just a private speciality gift creator . Basically if you wanted something original for someone like jewelry or a kids coat rack with their name on it for their bedroom . Id make it come true id create make your dream gift. And it paid my bills but when tax time came and i paid over 300$ to jackson hewitt who had some lady who didnt know how to fill out the paperwork on resale license and i couldnt qualify for earned child credit or daycare expenses and she didnt even want to look at my huge stack of recites which should of been deducted id think considering that i did pay for sale taxes on my purchases for business materials when i could of had the stores not charge me due to my resale license i had. And i didnt know much and still confused a little but she didnt look at my stuff put down business lost and i had to pay over 300$ again in taxes because my deadline was the next day. So end of that .anyways im looking for someone someday to keep me in mind if you feel like making a difference , I just need a positive person around me , someone with motivation to help get me feeling like im alive still. And i wont let you down let alone i promise youd help out someone in so many ways . Finacially , emotinally, physically, spiritually, to break this poverty chain and this hatred between mom and daughter cycle cause when i applied for welfare after my car died and loss my jobs then after so many guru rip off trying to help myself and then asking for it for my first time and never getting any last year i started feeling like im following in my moms footprints somehow, I dont want my daughter to look down on me and i want to provide for her the things Ive learned that are kinda important to a female that i had no clue about because i never had a mom to show me how to shave my legs or etc.. I want my daughter to be stronger then i was when it comes to men and to not fear telling me or someone if someones being disrespectful to her. I dont want her to move out at young age like i had to . I want my sons and her to be close again . I want to show them that i did overcome everything life threw at me and died smiling .
    If anyone dont have time to put into my life changer im seeking but want to help out for my kids holidays and towards a vehicle so i can get a job again . Im forever thankful and would gladly work it off anytime ,anywere. Im pretty handy and do mulitple things . Fast learner hands on demo. Pretty creative too.
    Athena Sutton
    5192 pine way. Forest Ranch CA 95942
    Paypal.me/AthenaSutton143
    Text free app number-5307218252.
    Happy holidays and thank you for your time . Hope you have a beautiful day . CAM00056-1.jpg

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