I didn’t want to lose everything, i just wanted to be happy

Discussion in 'My Story' started by Jessica Matos, Jan 20, 2018.

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  1. Jessica Matos

    Jessica Matos Newbie

    I’ve never been completely honest with my family because we are a very Christian family and I was scared of what they would think, if I told them I was gay.
    I’ve lost relationships because I wouldn’t be honest with my family and they wouldn’t hide.

    But almost a year ago I met my Emily, and even though she has been openly out since she was in high school, she has accepted that I wouldn’t tell my family and she introduced herself as a friend from work and she’s just become part of the family. My family loved her she’s been around and they invite her to everything with us.

    On Christmas as I watched Emily with them something hit me, that it wasn’t fair to her to have to pretend to just be me “friend”. So at that moment I realized I was ready to be honest and tell them. I wanted to love this woman and be happy and not have to hide anymore.

    So I looked st everyone and said I need to tell you all something I should have a long time ago, I’m gay. And this beautiful woman that you all have grown to love as much as I do is my girlfriend.

    In what should have been a very happy moment and a huge weight off my shoulder, my whole life changed. My dad told me to take what I can fit in my car and get the hell out out of his house, because he will not have a queer of a daughter and told me to never come back.

    I work a full time job and can afford and appartment and everything that comes with it monthly. But the problem I now have is how much you need to get it with the security deposit and first and last months rent all at once, and then all the little things you need right away like a bed, and food and dishes and that. I have half of my deposit needed, and truly just need a little help to get in the apartment and I’ll figure the rest out with working extra hours and that.

    Emily is back at college finishing her senior year and I’ve stayed with a friend since Christmas but they are only giving me til Friday to be out cuz I’ve been here a month even though I’ve paid them rent.
    And I’ve tried to get alone for like $2000 but can’t get approved.

    I found an apartment that said I can move in on Friday, but need help with the deposit and to get a bed at least. If there’s an Angel out there, you don’t know how grateful I would be.


    Jess

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