Desperate for a life makeover.

Happy new year to all.. I'm happy to leave 2017 behind me. I wanted last year to be my year ,but it didnt happen. Santa never came by my house, so me and the kids didnt celebrate any birthdays or christmas. All our birthdays are at the sametime pretty much ,then christmas . So we had some tears and i took the blame for santa not coming . It really sucks that on december 23rd i was at the hospital, because my only roomate had set a lava lamp on our wood stove directly on the glass then stoked the fire not thinking about it being on top of stove and it exploded into thousands of micro pieces of glass everywere. I got glass in my face and neck and was worried about infection. But while i sat in hospital room i get an email that comes thru from toys from tots i didnt even think my application was approved cause i never heared back and by time i could catch a ride to apply for the salvation armys basket ,it was full and those were the only 2 resources that the welfare office gave me for christmas help for my kids. My email said i had to pick up my gifts with proof for each child i applied for and my id etc and only have this one pick up time which was december 23rd from 4-7 . It was 6:15 and i was talking to doctors. I caught a ride to hospital and the toys from tots pick up was all the way across town. But sad news was i didnt expect that to happen for me and all my kids social cards or birth cert were at home wich i would of not been able to go home and then come back down and make it by 7pm. I rushed the doctor to finish my paperwork please i told him why, and he did. I only had 1 childs medical card on hand and thats only because i checked the mail which my mailbox is a mile away up and down hills to get to it. And the medical had sent a new card for my little girl with correct info on this one . I made it there by 7pm and cried cause they wouldnt let me have anything for any other kids but hers cause i had that medical card. She got 2 little tiny gifts for a baby age and a bunny rabbitt that said happy easter on it. I have never had such a crappy holiday then 2017. I was even sick feeling for new years eve ,plus depression i didnt even get dress. I do not want this year to happen like last year but i live in such a rurual area that has nothing ,not even a place for kids to play up here. The charter school is fenced and locked down 24-7 so i cant even take my little ones to play there. No public transportation. Ive lost my job, family, friends ,hair ,teeth, my spirit, my health even , my looks have even went downhill so bad i hate talking or looking in the mirror even all because i had no vehicle and noone to help me out. I guess 25 min. Drive is too far for people ive helped out and traveled further for them when they needed a ride. Ive applied for grants ( no success). I applied for a few different car help sites for low income or help with free car. ( no luck yet). I hate being on government assistance now it barely covers my rent and diapers, my children have nothing to do here, we have no cable, no internet, no computer, no home phone ,i dont even have a cell phone anymore. No swingset for them to play on, no grass yet, weve watched every dvd movie like 10 times over . I feel horrible as a parent im seperated from my older boys who live 1 hr. Away with my ex husband who is a abusive cheating lyin alcoholic. He had even been arrested for domestic violence on me.but he wont go out of his way or time to bring the older boys to me and my oldest whos now 22 living up where he does is also in a rurual area with no jobs and hes having problems getting around to get on his feet and it takes them longer then me to get to their nearest town. I tried all last year spending every dollar i could come up with. I housecleaned a few times for someone up here i sold a couple things to a local . All on these work from home opportunities, desperate to find away to get me out of this stuck spot. Im getting cabin fever after 2 years of this , im going insane awww. But i got mislead, false websites , i wasted all i could of my money past 11 months for nothing. Even on new years eve i found this other suposely make 10$ for each person who clicks on your referrel link get paid after you total 300$ in check , money gram, paypal etc.. i posted that link and have racked up to a thousand bucks last time i looked and guess what no contact info or away to figure out how to get paid if this site is even for real. I have no food, dont get foodstamps till the 10th of month. And it seems the past few months weve been struggling to make it just like now till the next month. Food prices have gone up i noticed and my bags are becoming less. I want to learn how to be successful entreprenuer, Im full of ideas and im very spirited when it comes to annoucing something or voicing my opionion, spreading the word about an event or looking for sponsors for sports. But my spirit is dimenishing the more im stuck here with no contact with the world . My roomate doesnt talk much and is a hater. Im a people person and not a hater but lately i feel hes rubbing off on me the more i realize how big my heart has been and how i couldnt get a ride to the hospital for 5 days. Im not computer smart and im using a broken screen tablet of my roomates on his cell plan everytime i write on this site. If anyone can please help me get a dependable vehicle for me and my children and any kind of funds to help me get them clothes and shoes they need right now for this winter, and any advice or show me how to become finacially stable so i may get off assistance before they cut me off. And be able to be successful to were id be able to have freedom with my family stress free ,to be able to provide all the food they want to eat instead of top ramen. And if i had a vehicle , id be able to get to dentist and doctors that everyone needs ,id be able to get to a job even if i have to slave all day for it. Id be able to see my boys every weekend and maybe start saving money to help my older boys get a cheap car to help them get a start in life without all the stress of how to do it like i have been and they could come see me too. Im running out of hope honestly cause all my life ive struggled for a change and it just never went good. I feel like im heading down a path sorta like my mom who was never a mom to me and taught me nothing but how to take care of my younger siblings and clean. I never got to be a kid or do much of anything fun that i can remember. My stepdad was abusive ,my mom pill addict and died from overdose 5 yrs ago. I hadnt spoke a word to her for at least 5 yrs prior to her death cause i needed a mom who wasnt there for me, i had something tragic happen to me she never called to say are you ok. She used to make me ask her boyfriend when i was a teenager to buy me tampons. I have birthed 5 boys and i told everyone each time , god wont give me a girl cause he knows id hurt somebody over her and that i couldnt handle it. Ive experianced a lot for one person and now my past miracle baby was a girl and im a wreck i dont know much about beauty stuff or things like that i lived up in the woods off and on my life. My mom never showed me anything and i was out of my home before i turned 16 yrs of age. My mom was kicked out at age 15 and her mom never spoke to her ever again . I dont know details of my family historys from moms or dads side. But i dont want my daughter living elsewere at a young age and i want to be able to teach her and provide for a girl what we need. Im learning girls take up a lot more stuff then boys and i definetly got my hands full. Im experiancing things i never had to deal with from the boys and its hard with no support system and lately shes been causing fights between me and my roomate and if someone has to leave first it be us , then how and where would i go besides the shelter on foot . I love to find a solution and i thank you to whomever can give me advice a kick in the ass in the right direction, even a knock at my door to give me a hug. I hope everyone has a good year.
Athena sutton
Paypal.me/ athena 143
Paypal.me/athenasutton143
5192 pine way. Forest Ranch CA. 95942
530-828-0499( message roomates number)

Hi
Hope this is not coming to late, It was now we read your blog that you need financial support, Do you still need help, if yes kindly get back to us now representativeservicess@gmail.com

Thank
I wait for your swift Respond
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Representative...